Why Is Divorce More Challenging if Your Spouse Has a Narcissistic Personality?
Individuals with narcissistic personalities have an inflated sense of their own importance, according to the Mayo Clinic. They seek attention and want people to admire them, but often lack the ability to understand or care about others. Narcissistic personalities can be easily upset by slight criticism and expect admiration and special favors. They often experience difficulties in relationships, at work or school, and with financial matters.
Divorcing a narcissistic spouse can be a challenging experience. It will likely require emotional fortitude and strategic planning. Narcissistic personalities can be controlling, manipulative, and abusive, which can make the process particularly stressful. It is critical to understand the legal steps involved, and to have sound legal guidance from an experienced Ohio divorce attorney.
How Do You Protect Yourself When Divorcing a Narcissistic Spouse?
If you are terminating a marriage with a narcissist, it is important to set boundaries to protect yourself from manipulation. Very clearly communicate what you will not tolerate from your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. Seek support from friends and family members during this emotionally draining time. If there is a history of abuse or threats, have a safety plan in place.
Prepare for the worst and document everything. Narcissists are known for their proclivity to lie to achieve their own ends. Keep a record in writing of all agreements and interactions with your spouse, preferably in the form of emails or text messages, which can serve as evidence. Gather all financial documents, including tax returns, property deeds, and bank statements, and ensure you have copies of everything.
What Are the Legal Steps to Divorce a Narcissistic Spouse in Ohio?
Do not tell a narcissistic spouse that you intend to divorce him or her. It could lead to violence or sabotage. Instead, take the following steps to put your plans in place:
- Consult with a divorce attorney. It is best to choose a lawyer who has experience handling high-conflict divorces, particularly cases involving narcissistic personalities. An attorney who is familiar with the types of tactics employed by narcissists can better protect your rights and interests.
- File for divorce: Divorce is a legal action, and you need grounds for terminating a marriage. Ohio allows for no-fault divorce with grounds of incompatibility or living separately for one year or more. In a fault based divorce, the grounds may be extreme cruelty, adultery, habitual drunkenness, or others, as stated in the Ohio Revised Code, Section 3105.01.
- Request temporary orders: This may be wise, given the manipulative nature of narcissistic personalities. The court can issue temporary orders for use of marital assets, child custody, and support to provide stability while your divorce is in progress.
- Discovery: Both sides in a divorce use the formal process of discovery to obtain the necessary information to resolve the case. The process may involve written requests for information and production of documents, subpoenas, and depositions. Discovery is crucial when the other party is a narcissist, as he or she may hide assets or misrepresent the financial situation. Be sure to provide your attorney with all your documentation.
- Mediation and negotiations: As mediation requires a willingness to compromise, it often fails when a narcissistic personality is involved. Your attorney should approach negotiations strategically, for example by leading your spouse to propose an outcome you will accept. Another strategy is to ask questions about how he or she thinks certain matters should be handled without making any proposal of your own, which is validating for the narcissist and allows you to gain information for future negotiations.
- Division of marital property: In Ohio, any property obtained during the marriage is generally considered marital property and subject to equitable distribution in a divorce. The division must be fair but not necessarily a 50/50 split. You need an experienced attorney to advocate for your interests and protect you from potential financial misconduct on the part of your spouse.
- Trial: If mediation and negotiations fail, your case must go to trial to be determined by a judge. An attorney with experience in high-conflict divorces can develop a trial strategy to present a clear and compelling case and highlight your spouse’s manipulative behavior. Your lawyer may call witnesses to testify as to the behavior of your spouse and present other evidence to support your claims.
- Judgment of the court: Once the trial is complete and the court has decided on all matters, it will issue a Judgment Entry of Divorce. This is the final decree terminating your marriage and stating the terms of your divorce. It is important to promptly implement the court’s orders, which may involve transferring property, setting up support payments, or updating legal documents.
What Happens After the Divorce is Final?
Be prepared for the possibility that a narcissistic spouse may continue to create conflict after a divorce. Continue to comply with court orders and keep detailed written records of any issues that arise post-divorce. Work to establish financial independence by opening accounts in your own name. Engage in activities that enhance your physical and mental well-being, such as hobbies, exercise, and spending time with the people you love. Ultimately, perseverance and strategic planning will lead to a healthier and more peaceful future.
Our Ohio divorce attorneys at Lawrence Law Office have experience handling high-conflict divorces involving narcissistic personalities.
We have the knowledge and skills to develop effective strategies to protect our clients’ interests and obtain the best possible outcomes in a divorce. If you are divorcing a narcissist in Ohio, call us at 614-363-1273 for the sound legal guidance and skilled representation you need.
