Divorces are emotional and stressful. Once the divorce is finalized and you get into a groove, though, you may decide you don’t want to be alone anymore. You think it might be nice to have someone in your life.
However, finding someone who shares your interests and values may not be an easy task. Plus, if you have been married for a long time, you may be a little rusty when it comes to dating. How do you find someone? What do you do?
Getting back into the dating game after a divorce does not have to be complicated. Here are some tips to make it easier — and maybe even fun.
Wait Until Your Divorce is Final
Trying to find a rebound relationship while you’re still legally married is never a good idea. It’s a good idea to give yourself some time and space. Plus, what you do before your divorce is finalized can and will be used against you. if your ex finds out you are dating again so soon, that information can be used in child custody and other divorce matters. A good rule of thumb is to wait one year after divorce.
Do Research on Online Dating
There are many online dating sites, but not all are created equal. Some are focused on long-term relationships, while others are better for casual sex. If you opt for online dating (most people do nowadays), find the site that’s right for you based on the type of relationship you are looking for.
Date for the Right Reasons
You should date because you want to feel the emotions involved in being in a romantic relationship with someone. You shouldn’t date because you feel lonely or hurt. That’s not fair to the people you are dating. Dating requires you to feel all the emotions involved in making positive new connections, so don’t date if you’re not ready for this.
Be Reasonable
Have reasonable expectations on your dates. Not every date will turn into a long-term relationship, so don’t start planning your wedding just yet. Instead, take the time to get to know your dates and have fun. Also, don’t try to compare them to your ex. Try to keep your expectations low, especially on your first dates after a divorce.
Take it Slow
Along the same lines, take things slow. There’s no need to rush into anything. Keep in mind that second marriages have an even higher chance of divorce than first marriages. Text or talk on the phone. Have video chats. Have different types of dates. You don’t need to be thinking about a relationship right away. Just take your time and have fun.
Don’t Waste Your Time
At the same time, don’t waste your time on a relationship that you know isn’t going to work out. Know what your deal breakers are ahead of time. What goals and interests do you have? Keep this in mind as you’re dating. You won’t find true love right away, so if things don’t feel right, break it off. There’s no need to waste each other’s time. You could spend that time dating someone who you could really hit it off with.
Be Careful if You Have Children
You need to tread carefully if you have children. You don’t want to introduce them to a new partner too soon. A good rule of thumb is to wait at least six months before introducing them to a boyfriend or girlfriend. If you do it too soon, it could be confusing to children, especially younger ones who are still mourning the divorce. So make sure you’re in a solid relationship before starting introductions. And make sure your children know that they come first. Don’t prioritize a new partner over your children. They need you right now, so be there for them.
Trust Your Gut
A date is almost like a job interview. If something doesn’t feel right, move on. You can end the date or refuse to see someone who you don’t feel comfortable with. You are not obligated to say “yes” to every date. If you notice red flags, such as someone still hung up on their ex, trust your instincts and move on.
Contact Us Today
After a divorce, many people are hesitant to start dating again. Then there are those who are ready to move on and find someone who fits their needs.
Divorce can be complicated. The Ohio divorce attorneys at Lawrence Law Office can help you resolve your divorce or family law matter. To schedule a consultation, fill out the online form or call (614) 363-0752.
